saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
