dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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