East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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