I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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