I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
