I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
