she was so not down for the gang bang
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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