I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
