i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
