Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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