Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
