Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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