my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
