You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
