why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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