i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
