I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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