curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
