You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
