it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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