I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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