Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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