Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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