My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
