Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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