there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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