I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
