the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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