Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
