he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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