Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
