p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
honey bunches of taint.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
