It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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