How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
