i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
