So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
