she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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