they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
