youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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