Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
