she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
