who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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