After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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