Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
