so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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