My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
