that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
