my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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