i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
