If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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